


Mine

by abs2891



Series: Masks AU [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Firefighters, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Angst, M/M, Romance, Romantic Fluff, masksau, tiny bit of Kyungsoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 16:20:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14024013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abs2891/pseuds/abs2891
Summary: Baekhyun has a lot to learn about what it means to date Chanyeol because loving a fireman comes with its own brand of difficulties. [Sequel to By Chance]





	Mine

Chanyeol’s kiss is soft and sweet, a light pressure against Baekhyun’s lips that still sends small zings of electricity coursing down his spine.  It is just so nice.  He should have kissed Chanyeol’s cheek earlier.  The momentary flip-flopping of his stomach was totally worth it for this.

Chanyeol pulls away slowly after a couple more seconds, and Baekhyun opens his eyes to see him nervously smiling at him.  Baekhyun smiles back as he reaches up a hand to Chanyeol’s neck, pulling him back in.

“Again.”  Baekhyun murmurs, making Chanyeol laugh as their lips press together again.

The pressure is again light, barely there, and when Chanyeol doesn’t move to up it, Baekhyun does instead, tilting his head to the side with a soft sigh, slotting their lips together a bit more firmly.  Chanyeol lets out a quiet sound, something akin to surprise, and the hand that had been resting on Baekhyun’s wrist from when he pulled him back towards the couch, flutters uncertainly against Baekhyun’s arm, surprising him.  On instinct, Baekhyun turns his free hand to catch it in his grasp, and Chanyeol stills.

Baekhyun pulls back again and studies Chanyeol’s face.

His eyes are slightly wide, and Baekhyun watches as his lower lip suddenly disappears partially into his mouth, saying nothing.  Baekhyun blinks, and then, he slowly raises Chanyeol’s hand up to rest on the back of his neck.  “Put it here.”  Baekhyun murmurs, shivering slightly as Chanyeol’s fingers curl against the back of his neck.  Chanyeol’s hand is wide, and warm, and Baekhyun discards an errant thought of how nice it might be to have it other places as he moves his own hand, thumb settling on Chanyeol’s chin.

“Don’t do that.  It’s not good for it.”  He murmurs, thumbing against Chanyeol’s jaw until his lower lip is released from his mouth, popping out a bit reddened and swollen.  Baekhyun licks his lips before he leans forward again.  “Just follow my lead.”  He murmurs, lips pressing against Chanyeol’s once more as he presses his thumb against his chin a bit more firmly, guiding Chanyeol’s head to the side.

Chanyeol lets him do it, fingers squeezing gently against the back of Baekhyun’s neck as he slots their lips together in another firm press before letting his tongue dart out in a tiny, kittenish lick against Chanyeol’s lower lip.  Chanyeol’s grip on the back of Baekhyun’s neck tightens slightly as he lets out a muted gasp, and the corners of Baekhyun’s lips turn up into a smile as he lets his tongue drag against Chanyeol’s lower lip again, applying a bit more pressure. Chanyeol’s grip tightens even more, almost to the point that it is uncomfortable.

Baekhyun groans, pulling back minutely from Chanyeol’s lips.  “A little looser Yeol.”  He murmurs, tweaking his head to the side in indication.

Chanyeol flinches, and in an instant, his grip all but disappears.  “Sorry,” he murmurs, sounding breathless.

Baekhyun laughs softly, leaning back in again.  “It’s fine.  I like my hair pulled.”  He adds, moments before catching Chanyeol’s lower lip between his teeth and nibbling on it gently.  Chanyeol gasps softly, and then, he trails slightly wavering fingers up Baekhyun’s neck and into his hair, twisting it in his grasp.  Baekhyun groans again, firmly catching Chanyeol’s lip in his teeth and pulling, making Chanyeol’s mouth fall open in a soft sound of surprise before he moves, releasing Chanyeol’s abused lower lip from his grasp in order to slot their lips together and press his tongue past Chanyeol’s parted lips.

It is, in a word, heaven.  Chanyeol’s mouth is wet and warm, the taste a mingling of popcorn, soda, and something that is just distinctly him, and Baekhyun takes a moment to revel in it, dragging his tongue across the roof of Chanyeol’s mouth and tracing over his gums before he pulls back, small pants passing his lips as he studies Chanyeol’s face.

His eyes are slightly glazed; his lips are red and swollen; and to be entirely honest, Baekhyun isn’t sure what Chanyeol’s answer to his next question will be, but he isn’t surprised by the answer he gets.

“Do you want to sleep with me tonight?”

“I don’t… I think I should stay out here.”  Chanyeol whispers, tone uncertain, nervous in a way Baekhyun hasn’t heard before.

It is completely different from the smoothly spoken flirtations he’d thrown Baekhyun’s way over a year ago, different from his usual boisterous self too.  It is, well, it is cute, and while Baekhyun isn’t necessarily disappointed by Chanyeol’s response, he wonders if Chanyeol will confirm something Baekhyun already suspects as he looks at the flush tinging Chanyeol’s cheeks.

“Why?”  He murmurs, leaving the question broad enough Chanyeol could answer it any way he wants.  In a move that is distinctly the Chanyeol Baekhyun knows, Chanyeol answers with the response Baekhyun has already predicted.

“I’ve never done this before.”  Chanyeol admits, the flush of his cheeks darkening as his head dips.

Baekhyun resists the urge to nod and makes sure not to laugh or seem surprised either.  Instead, he moves, slowly climbing onto Chanyeol’s lap so that his knees are framing Chanyeol's hips as he settles his hands on the sides of his face.  “Why?”  He repeats, keeping his tone as neutral as possible.

Beneath him, Chanyeol lets out a small breathless laugh as his hand momentarily tightens its grip on Baekhyun’s hair before releasing it and slowly massaging against his scalp.

“When I was younger… it took me a while to work things out, and once I did, there was a serious period of self-loathing, followed by me trying things out a couple times, but... it just didn’t feel right, you know?”  He murmurs, hand stilling at the nape of Baekhyun’s neck, pressing against it gently.

Baekhyun bobs his head, hands lowering down to rest on the tops of Chanyeol’s shoulders, squeezing gently.  “Does it feel right now?”  He asks, feeling a little more nervous about Chanyeol’s response than he anticipated.

Chanyeol blinks in surprise before he flushes, swallowing nervously before answering through trembling lips.  “It’s weird.”  He murmurs, letting his fingers trail around from the back of Baekhyun’s neck to stroke down the side of his face.

“Bad weird?”  Baekhyun asks, hands clutching around Chanyeol’s shoulders, afraid he might say “Yes”.  Thankfully, the nearly comical widening of Chanyeol’s eyes has Baekhyun feeling pretty confident the answer is no even before Chanyeol is shaking his head.

“No, not bad weird… just… It’s so fast, and I know you’ve done this before, and I feel like… I feel like I’m not going to measure up.”  Chanyeol murmurs, hand trailing down Baekhyun’s cheek to gently stroke up and down his neck, the touch of his fingers barely there as he bites his lip again.

Baekhyun lets out a soft sigh and leans forward, kissing Chanyeol’s mouth squarely.  “I told you not to do that.  It’ll bruise.”  He murmurs as he pulls back, watching as Chanyeol’s lower lip pops back out in his surprise.  “As for ‘not measuring up’,” Baekhyun lets out a small snort, “This isn’t some kind of competition.”  He murmurs, watching as Chanyeol swallows nervously while he bobs his head.

“I know but—” Baekhyun leans forward, pecking Chanyeol’s lips again.

“Even if it was, you’d win.”  Baekhyun whispers, pulling back and watching as Chanyeol’s mouth falls open.

“What?”  He gasps, surprise evident in his tone, making Baekhyun laugh as he slowly extracts himself from Chanyeol’s lap, standing in front of where he sits on the couch, for once the one looking down at him instead of the other way around.

“Look?  You like me, right?”  Baekhyun asks, tone matter-of-fact and simple as he studies Chanyeol’s face.

Chanyeol blinks before he blushes.  “Uh…”  Chanyeol blushes darker and looks away from Baekhyun’s face, surprising Baekhyun who reaches out a hand to draw him back.

“Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol licks his swollen lips nervously before letting out a hesitant laugh.  “I’m pretty sure like isn’t a strong enough word.”  He admits softly.

Baekhyun’s eyes widen, and his grip tightens on Chanyeol’s cheek as he takes a steadying breath, fighting down a wave of emotions that are making his body tingle.  “Would you like to say the other then?”  He asks, voice impressively steady considering the mishmash of emotions raging across his mind.

Chanyeol slowly shakes his head.  “Not right now, no.”  He whispers, cheeks still red as Baekhyun nods solemnly in response.

“Okay, then let’s stick with like.  So, you like me, and I like you, and, in the interest of making you get the good night’s sleep your job requires, I am insisting you join me in my bed, no other strings attached.  You can just lie there and snore if you want.”  Baekhyun says, letting a playful smirk arise on his lips as Chanyeol goes from staring at him in shock to looking mildly affronted.

“I don’t snore.”

“You do.”  Baekhyun claims, smirk widening as Chanyeol’s brow furrows.

“Do not.”  He insists.

Baekhyun laughs and sticks out his tongue as he releases his grip on Chanyeol’s cheek and takes as step away.  “Prove it.”  He challenges, holding out his hand.

After a moment’s hesitation, Chanyeol takes it, allowing himself to be pulled up from the couch.

Sometime later, their teeth are brushed and they are laying on Baekhyun’s bed, the full-size mattress just fitting the pair of them as they lay on their sides facing one another with a small gap between them.

“See, isn’t this better?”  Baekhyun asks with a small smile, watching as Chanyeol’s cheeks tinge as he bobs his head.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, fingers reaching out to lightly stroke Baekhyun’s cheek, expression holding a hint of wonder.

“What?”  Baekhyun murmurs after a couple seconds, shuddering as Chanyeol’s hand gently squeezes his neck.

“You didn’t laugh.”  Chanyeol murmurs, tone grateful and surprised.

Baekhyun smiles softly as he reaches up to squeeze Chanyeol’s hand where it rests on his skin.  “Why would I?”  He murmurs, pulling Chanyeol’s hand over so he can kiss his palm.

Chanyeol shudders before he speaks quietly.  “Some would.”

Baekhyun shrugs.  “That’d be mean.”  He murmurs, kissing Chanyeol's palm again.  It’s rough, slightly calloused from his long shifts at the firehouse.  Strong.  Baekhyun likes it.  It makes his stomach flip flop as he imagines what it would feel like on his skin.  Rough on smooth.  It'll be worth the wait.

“You weren't surprised?”  Chanyeol murmurs, distracting Baekhyun from his fantasies with a gentle shake of his hand in Baekhyun's grasp.

Baekhyun takes a second to consider his response before slowly nodding his head.  “I… I was.  You flirted pretty well for a second there.”  He whispers as he smiles playfully, hoping to set Chanyeol at ease.

Chanyeol laughs lightly, a small smile playing on his lips “I had no idea what I was doing.”  He admits.

Baekhyun laughs back.  “You faked it well.”  He murmurs through a small yawn.

“Thanks.” Chanyeol says, a small laugh passing his lips as his hand slips out of Baekhyun’s and reaches up to brush Baekhyun’s hair around his ear, a contemplative expression on his face.

“What?”  Baekhyun murmurs after a couple seconds as Chanyeol’s hand trails down from behind Baekhyun’s ear to his jaw.

Chanyeol smiles slightly as a small bit of pink tinges his cheeks, “Can we kiss some more?”

Baekhyun can’t help it, he does laugh then, a small chuckle passing his lips as he scoots closer to Chanyeol.  “Sure.”  He murmurs, smiling as Chanyeol’s hand slips back up to tangle in his hair.

\---

When Chanyeol wakes up the next morning, it takes a couple blinks of his eyes to process where he is, and couple more for him to remember why he is there.  It is a bit strange honestly, considering Chanyeol usually wakes up pretty quickly because of his job, but, he figures waking up with Baekhyun curled around his side is a pretty good reason to be disoriented.

Really, the previous evening was somewhat unbelievable.  In one simple moment, Baekhyun had tipped the scales in their relationship into something Chanyeol hadn’t even allowed himself to realize how much he wanted until he had it.  Now that he does though, Chanyeol is unbelievably happy, and also, nervous.

He never has been in a real relationship before.  Something Baekhyun had seemed to deduce before he even admitted to it.  The fact that Baekhyun hadn’t laughed, hadn’t even flinched, meant a lot.  A few had in the past, and that had killed a nice chunk of the attraction Chanyeol felt in one harsh sound.

He’d just… he’d been a late bloomer.  Really late.  He’d been tall and gangly and unsure of why guys looked pretty and girls did not, and by the time it had all been worked out in his head, Chanyeol was old enough that it was hard to figure out all the rules of a game he’d not been involved in for years.

He’d figured out some things.  Flirting.  Casual hands.  A few random pecks, but things had never gone anywhere.  He’d never slept in someone else’s bed, except Baekhyun’s.  Twice.

The first time, he’d been too hungover and freaked out to think too deeply about it, and the presence of his clean underwear had curtailed thoughts that he’d done something he’d never done before in favor of trying to figure out where his drunk self had ended up.  This time though, Chanyeol is not hungover.  He hasn’t even had a drop to drink the day before.

He might as well have though.

He smiles as he reaches out a hand to brush disheveled hair off Baekhyun’s forehead.  Yup, Chanyeol can get used to this.

He can get used to this really, really fast.

\---

It seems to happen slowly, but at the same, it really doesn’t.  In fact, it’s barely a month before Chanyeol has a toothbrush in Baekhyun’s bathroom and an entire quarter of the closet, not to mention the top drawer of the dresser.

Baekhyun loses track of the number of times he wakes up with Chanyeol next to him.  It happens too often for him to keep track.  Chanyeol had a key to Baekhyun’s apartment even before they got together.  Now, he uses it even when Baekhyun’s not awake.  He comes home from his late night shift and crawls into bed, and Baekhyun wakes up enough to grab onto him before he falls back asleep feeling a bit warmer than before.

Then, in the morning, he laughs at Chanyeol’s disastrous hair—when he comes in, its damp from the shower he takes at the end of his shift—kisses his forehead, and heads to the kitchen to make his breakfast and to set out Chanyeol’s own.

Chanyeol’s not a horrible cook, but he is the type to try to measure by sight, and fail miserably.  Therefore, Baekhyun takes the guesswork out of the equation, measuring out the cup of rolled oats and the water and leaving them side by side on the counter with a note about how long to microwave the pair.  He knows Chanyeol will find anything else he wants to eat on it himself.  He can handle that much.

Then with a final glance into their bedroom, Baekhyun leaves with a smile on his face and a small skip in his step as he thinks over how he straddled Chanyeol on the couch two nights ago, their breaths intermingled as Chanyeol’s hands tangled in his hair.  They haven’t gone much farther than that, not yet, but it doesn’t matter. 

Life is perfect.

Until suddenly, it’s not.

\---

Its starts during a week where Chanyeol is rotated back onto the day shift and is there to kiss Baekhyun goodbye as he pulls on his coat, hair still a mess as he stands in the kitchen in sweats and a t-shirt.

“Have a nice day.”  He murmurs as he pulls back, a smile on his face as Baekhyun reaches up to pat down some of his fluffy hair.

“Stay safe.”  He murmurs, and Chanyeol smiles a bit wider, turning into Baekhyun’s touch with a small nod.

“Always.  I’ll see you tonight.”  He promises, and Baekhyun nods as he pulls back his hand and heads out the door.

It’s around noon when Baekhyun realizes that Chanyeol’s promise might be broken, jumping as the notice springs onto the board in the main room of the broadcast station.

Breaking News – Gas Explosion in Midtown – First responders...

Baekhyun stops reading the string of text on the screen in favor of looking at the video footage instead, eye’s widening as his gaze falls upon a familiar number emblazoned on the side of truck that is making Baekhyun feel sick.

_No, no, no._

Baekhyun can’t watch this.  He shouldn’t watch this, and yet, he can’t look away.  He just stares as the reporter on screen explains the situation.  Explains that the fire is still raging.  Explains that some people are still inside.  That someone named Park Chanyeol is still inside.

Baekhyun feels even sicker.  He’s going to throw up.  He needs a trashcan.

He runs to the closest one and heaves, hands white as they grip the trashcan, panic setting in.

_Chanyeol.  Chanyeol.  Chanyeol._

What is he supposed to do?

Who is he supposed to call?

Is there anyone to call?

Suddenly, there is a hand on Baekhyun’s back, rubbing gently.

“You okay?”  Kyungsoo asks, hand continuing to rub Baekhyun’s back as Baekhyun swallows a few gasps of air.

No.  He’s not okay.  He’s having a panic attack, but, he can’t have a panic attack.  He needs to calm down.

Chanyeol promised he’d be okay.

Everything is going to be okay.

Baekhyun slowly raises his head up to look at the television.

Everything is not okay.

\---

Baekhyun goes home.

What else can he do?

Go to the fire?

That was pointless they’d never let him in.

No, better to go home.  Go home and wait because Chanyeol will come back.  He has to.  He got out of the building.  The reporter eventually confirmed that all personnel and civilians had been evacuated from the building, so he will come home.

He has to.

Except he doesn’t.

Instead, at around three, Baekhyun gets a call on his phone.

It’s an unfamiliar number, but the area code indicates it’s coming from the city.  Baekhyun swallows nervously and picks up his phone, barely managing a “Hello.”

The response from the caller is instantaneous and short, a female voice echoing in Baekhyun’s ear.  “Is this Byun Baekhyun?”

“Yes, this is he.”  Baekhyun manages after a couple seconds, fingers clutching around his phone painfully as the woman starts speaking again.

“This is Eastside hospital.  You are listed as the emergency contact for Park Chanyeol.  Is that correct?”

Baekhyun’s grip tightens impossibly.  Emergency contact?  When had that happened?  Chanyeol hadn’t told him.

He swallows thickly and answers anyways.  “Yes, that’s correct.  Is he alright?”

Baekhyun nearly drops his phone as the woman on the other end of line laughs softly.  “He’s fine, but he has a mild concussion and hospital protocol requires that he is therefore released to a responsible party.  Are you available to come in and sign him out?”

Baekhyun stands up from the couch so quickly he nearly falls back down.  “I’ll be right there.”  He answers, hardly listening as the woman provides details on where he needs to go.

\---

When Baekhyun reaches the emergency room counter at the hospital, he’s greeted by the same woman he talked to on the phone, and she’s more than willing to hand over papers Baekhyun is more interested in signing as opposed to reading.  However, when he’s done and asks where Chanyeol is, he’s greeted with a laugh.

“We moved him somewhere he could relax.  I’ll take you there.  He was quite the handful.”  She says, stepping around the counter and leading Baekhyun down the hall towards an elevator.

“But he’s fine.”  Baekhyun says, stepping in behind the nurse as she presses the button for the sixth floor.

She nods as the door closes.  “Yes.  A couple bumps and bruises, and the mild concussion as I mentioned before, but nothing a few good days rest won’t take care of.”

Baekhyun breathes out a heavy sigh of relief as he looks towards the changing floors, trying to distract himself from thinking about things too deeply.  “Where are we headed?”  He asks softly, rocking back and forth on his heels impatiently.

Have elevators always been this slow?

The woman smiles as the doors open and she steps out first.  “The children’s ward.”  She answers, leading Baekhyun down a short hallway before opening the door.

“Mr. Park, you’re now free to go.”  She says, standing in a doorway that Baekhyun stops before, suddenly afraid of what’s going to happen when he sees Chanyeol again.

Then Chanyeol laughs, and Baekhyun is moving before he can think better of it as Chanyeol speaks, tone amused.  “I think some people may disagree with you on that.  We just started.”  He says, and then, Baekhyun is there, standing in the doorway, looking at Chanyeol where he sits on the floor with a group of kids and a game of Candy Land.

He looks scarcely different than he did that morning, save for a small scratch Baekhyun can see above his eye and the hospital scrubs he’s been squeezed into.  His eyes crinkle as he sees Baekhyun’s face.  “Ah, my savior.  You want to play?  We just started.”  He says, gesturing to the board in front of him.

Baekhyun swallows thickly, eyes flicking towards the expectant faces that are assembled around Chanyeol before he slowly bobs his head.  “Yeah,” he whispers, voice soft, “Let’s play.”

Chanyeol laughs as he leans back to rummage in the box behind him.  “You have to be blue.  It’s the only color we have left.”  He says, handing over the piece to Baekhyun, fingers brushing against his palm.

Baekhyun nods as he sits down on the floor across from Chanyeol.  “Okay,” he whispers, and Chanyeol smiles at him encouragingly as he gestures towards the cards.

“Your turn.”  He says, and Baekhyun nods mechanically as he reaches towards the deck, only managing to smile wanly back in return.

When he draws the Gumdrop Mountains and jumps past a whole section of the board, he is immediately accused by his younger competitors of cheating, and their genuine dismay takes Baekhyun completely off-guard, making him laugh, for real.  Chanyeol laughs too, and patiently explains the rules in a voice that says he has already gone through this many times before.

It’s not the last time either.  In fact, Baekhyun has to do it a couple times too as they play the game for over an hour, rotating through different competitors while they sit on the hospital room floor.

\---

The journey home is quiet.  Baekhyun doesn’t know what to say.  In some ways, there isn’t anything to say.  Chanyeol is fine, standing in Baekhyun’s kitchen like he always has as Baekhyun makes him a glass of water so that he can take the medicine he was prescribed for the evening.

It’s Baekhyun who is not fine, and he knows it.

He also knows there is no way to fix it.

Chanyeol isn’t going to change his job.  Baekhyun doesn’t want him to change his job.  He just wants Chanyeol to be safe even when he does his job, and Baekhyun is pretty sure that is impossible, at least to a certain degree.

It is a reality Baekhyun hasn’t faced before, even though he knew it always existed.

Ignoring it had just been easier, and Baekhyun wants to go back to that.  He wishes he could go back to that.

He can’t.

Instead, as he takes the glass back from Chanyeol’s hand, he asks a question, keeping his tone casual as he turns to dump the remaining contents of the glass into the sink.  “Your emergency contact info… when did you change it?”  He murmurs eyes watching the water swirl down the drain.

Behind him, Chanyeol speaks, voice soft.  “A couple months ago.  You are a lot closer than my parents.  I’ve had to wait hours for them to show up before.”  He answers, and Baekhyun’s blood runs a bit colder.

This has happened before.

He didn’t want to know that.

He doesn't want to think about that.

“Oh.  I see.”  He murmurs, turning back towards Chanyeol, but not really looking at him.  No, he’s looking past him, mind far off as he considers scenarios he could do without, and also, whether the wait was the only reason his name had replaced Chanyeol’s parents at the top of the list.

“Baekhyun?”  Chanyeol asks, voice hesitant as his hand lands on Baekhyun’s shoulder.

Baekhyun jumps as Chanyeol’s fingers curl around his skin.  “What?”  He asks, eyes looking down at Chanyeol’s arm.  There’s a bruise on it, midway up his bicep.  Baekhyun wishes his mind wasn’t instantly thinking up ways of how it got there.

“Baek,” Chanyeol whispers, voice low and somewhat pleading as he lightly shakes Baekhyun’s shoulder, “Baek, why won’t you look at me?”

Baekhyun inhales loudly through his nose, as his eyes glide up Chanyeol’s arm to somewhere around his right shoulder.  “I am looking at you.”  He claims, eyes passing over Chanyeol’s face in an instant before settling on his left arm.

“No.  You’re not.”  Chanyeol insists, voice slightly firmer as he shakes Baekhyun’s shoulder again.

Baekhyun shakes his head.  “Yes, I—“

Chanyeol reaches out his opposite hand, fingers curling around Baekhyun’s chin, lifting it up so Baekhyun has no choice but to look him in the eye.  “No, you’re not.”  Chanyeol repeats, grip unyielding as studies Baekhyun’s face.  “What is it?”  He asks suddenly, voice back to its earlier low and pleading whisper as his thumb starts to rub against Baekhyun’s chin.

Baekhyun flinches, eyes fluttering closed for a couple seconds as he gathers himself before he reopens his eyes.  “I threw up.”  He admits, not sure what else to say.

“What?”  Chanyeol asks, brow furrowing in confusion as his thumb stills on Baekhyun’s chin.

Baekhyun sighs heavily as he reaches up to grab Chanyeol’s wrist, pulling his hand down so that he can squeeze it tightly.  “Today.  Watching the television.  I threw up.”  Baekhyun whispers, eyes lowering down from Chanyeol’s face as he flashes back to that moment, body trembling despite his efforts to hold it steady.

In front of him, Chanyeol sighs and pulls lightly on his shoulder.  “Baekhyun…Baek…Come here.”  He coaxes, continuing to pull until Baekhyun steps forward, releasing his grip on Chanyeol’s hand so that his arms can wrap around him instead.

“Sorry.”  He whispers, face turning to the side against Chanyeol’s chest as another tremor ripples through him.

“It’s fine,” Chanyeol whispers, arms wrapping around Baekhyun, holding him steady for a couple moments as he leans down and places a soft kiss to the top of Baekhyun’s head.  He lets his lips rest there for a couple seconds, inhaling deeply, and Baekhyun shudders beneath him, not trusting himself to say anything.

Eventually, Chanyeol pulls back, and his voice is soft, non-demanding as he whispers above Baekhyun’s head.  “Do you want to lie down?”

Baekhyun still doesn’t trust himself to speak, but he does nod, letting the side of his face drag against Chanyeol’s shirt.

“Okay.”  Chanyeol murmurs, and Baekhyun expects for him to loosen his grasp.  He expects Chanyeol to make it so they can walk towards his bedroom together, but he doesn’t.  He adjusts his grip instead, and while Baekhyun is fairly certain carrying him across the apartment like some kind of princess isn’t something Chanyeol should be doing, he doesn’t tell him to stop.  He just curls his hand into Chanyeol’s shirt, feeling a bit startled as he rocks against Chanyeol’s chest with each of his steps.

Chanyeol has to work to loosen Baekhyun’s grip on his shirt as he lowers him down onto the bed, crawling on top of him moments later before reaching up a hand to stroke Baekhyun’s hair.  He murmurs soft, soothing things that Baekhyun doesn’t really hear while tears that have somehow not fallen all day begin to fall silently, leaving streaks on Baekhyun’s face.  They are the first thing that Chanyeol brushes away when Baekhyun stops trembling beneath him, and he pulls back so that they can see each other’s faces.

Baekhyun reaches up a still slightly shaky hand to rest on Chanyeol’s cheek.  "Are you really okay?”

Chanyeol nods, a small, tender smile on his face.  “Do you want to check?”  He asks, thumbs stilling on Baekhyun’s cheeks, having succeeded in removing most of the evidence of Baekhyun’s tears.

Baekhyun nods once as he pushes against Chanyeol’s chest.  “Yes.”

Chanyeol lets Baekhyun push him over onto his back without a word, but as Baekhyun hovers over him, lip slipping between his teeth as he considers what he should do, Chanyeol reaches up a hand to draw it out.  “I’m sorry.”  He murmurs, thumb resting on Baekhyun’s lip, “It gets easier, with time.”

Baekhyun takes a deep breath as he shakes his head.  “Don’t—don’t apologize.”  He whispers, fingers reaching out to trace over the scratch on Chanyeol’s forehead.  “Just don’t.”  He repeats.

Chanyeol nods once wordlessly as Baekhyun leans forward and kisses his brow and then down the side of his face before capturing his lips firmly.

Chanyeol is pliant beneath him, accepting Baekhyun into his mouth after a single pass of Baekhyun’s tongue against his lips.  The taste is still distinctly Chanyeol, smooth and sweet, and Baekhyun takes his time confirming the width of Chanyeol’s mouth and the height of his teeth, the feel of Chanyeol’s tongue sliding past his.  When he pulls back, Chanyeol is still silent, and Baekhyun reaches out to brush the moisture off Chanyeol’s lips while he simultaneously doubts and believes Chanyeol’s earlier words.

This isn’t going to get easier, not with time, not with experience.  The deep, all-consuming fear and panic Baekhyun felt today is always going to be there, ready to surface, but, Baekhyun does think he can learn to live with it.  He will learn, because that is what he has to do, and Chanyeol is worth at least that much, most probably more.

Baekhyun slides down Chanyeol’s body slowly, fingers curling around the hem of Chanyeol’s shirt and pulling up.  Chanyeol lifts his chest up from the bed, and, with a bit of help, Baekhyun casts his shirt off to the side, looking down at Chanyeol’s chest.

The bruise on Chanyeol’s bicep isn’t the only one he sees.  There’s another on his pectoral which is an ugly, mottled purple color that makes Baekhyun afraid to touch it.  He reaches out slowly, resting his fingers on it gently.

Beneath him, Chanyeol shifts as his breath hitches and Baekhyun flicks his eyes to Chanyeol’s face.  He nods once and Baekhyun looks back down, pressing his lips against the bruise as softly as he can.  Chanyeol gasps quietly, and Baekhyun moves on, kissing down Chanyeol’s chest in long, wet, lingering presses of lips on skin.

Baekhyun has gotten Chanyeol’s shirt off before.  He has kissed this much before, but there is something slightly different about it this time, something that is both a promise and a wish as Baekhyun distantly thanks whoever decided that he should be allowed to kiss this because Chanyeol’s body is heaven, and tonight, Baekhyun thinks he needs to explore a bit more of it.

He kisses along the band at Chanyeol’s waist, nose brushing past Chanyeol’s skin as Chanyeol writhes the tiniest bit beneath him, the muscles of his abdomen clenching.  Baekhyun reaches out a hand to clamp down on Chanyeol’s clothed thigh, holding him in place and repeats the motion, going even slower.  He pauses at the edge of Chanyeol’s hip bone, nibbling the skin pulled tight over the ridge, and Chanyeol gasps, body shaking as he speaks for the first time. 

“B-Baekhyun.”  Baekhyun smiles against Chanyeol’s skin, nipping it again before sucking against it hard, and Chanyeol’s hips lift slightly from the bed.

When they lower back down, Baekhyun eyes the tent that has been pitched in Chanyeol’s sweats with a satisfied purr as he reaches up a hand to pull down the fabric.  Chanyeol hisses as it goes, and Baekhyun makes sure that his fingers graze over every inch of Chanyeol’s legs as he moves down his body to tug the sweats off Chanyeol’s feet.  He discards Chanyeol’s socks too before looking up, and he stares, because the sweats were the only thing Chanyeol had on, and Baekhyun’s never seen all of Chanyeol, not like this.

It’s… incredible.  Baekhyun licks his lips while just looking at the cock that stands half erect between Chanyeol’s legs.  It already looks large, and Baekhyun feels a bit of saliva pooling in his mouth as he considers what he is going to do next before he catches sight of Chanyeol, staring down at him with a mix of fear and anticipation.

Baekhyun smiles up at him before lowering his lips down to Chanyeol’s ankle, pressing his lips against it in a kiss not unlike the ones he had lavished on Chanyeol’s chest before, and then he moves up a few inches and repeats the motion.  He kisses a trail up Chanyeol’s right leg to his knee cap, kissing both sides before trailing kisses around a purpling bruise on his thigh just above it.

He then presses Chanyeol’s leg outward the tiniest bit and leans down to capture more sensitive skin, letting his lips graze over Chanyeol’s inner thigh, intermixing wet kisses with the barest nibbles of teeth, well aware that Chanyeol’s hips have started to writhe slightly in a silent plea as Chanyeol pants beneath him.

Occasionally, he manages Baekhyun’s name.  Occasionally, he swears, but for the most part, Chanyeol just pants and moans quietly, until Baekhyun sucks on a spot that is so close, so close and yet still not there, and then, he whines, desperate and pleading.

Baekhyun smiles against Chanyeol’s skin and moves, lips connecting with Chanyeol’s sack, and Chanyeol gasps as his hips buck.  Baekhyun moves his hands to hold him in place before sucking against him, soft and then hard as Chanyeol writhes beneath his grip.  “Please,” he begs, and Baekhyun pulls away for a second to find Chanyeol’s face, and it is red and flushed and beautiful.

Alive.

He waits for Chanyeol to look down at him, to really look and find Baekhyun’s eyes, even if Baekhyun doubts Chanyeol’s ability to focus and really see, and then he moves, leaning down to kiss the tip of Chanyeol’s cock with his eyes squarely on Chanyeol’s face.  Chanyeol whimpers as he presses against Baekhyun’s lips, smearing a small bead of precome against them.  Baekhyun licks it off, and it is bitter and salty, and just… Chanyeol, and he intends to taste a whole lot more of that before he is through, but he has other things he wants to do first, pulling back from Chanyeol’s tip to kiss a wet, slick line down his cock, finding the base as his nose collides with hair.

Chanyeol whimpers again, writhing beneath Baekhyun’s hands as he pleads for something, anything, just please, and Baekhyun starts as he remembers that while they’ve never specifically defined anything, Chanyeol probably hasn’t done this before.  He probably hasn’t and yet Baekhyun’s been teasing him relentlessly and not explaining anything, and well… Baekhyun really hopes Chanyeol forgives him for that as he reaches up to drag Chanyeol’s hands to his hair.

“Hold on.”  He murmurs, pulling back for a second as he sizes up Chanyeol’s cock, another rush of saliva filling his mouth.  It is huge.  Baekhyun is going to have a hell of a time making it fit.

Chanyeol sputters beneath him, fingers hesitantly gripping into Baekhyun’s hair as Baekhyun lowers his lips down.  Right before he captures the tip in his lips, he adds one more command.  “Don’t thrust too hard.”

If Chanyeol had a response to that statement, it dies in a gasp as Baekhyun’s lips ensnare his cock and he presses down, lips stretching around Chanyeol’s girth.  When the tip knocks the back of Baekhyun’s throat he pulls back before pressing forward again, the sound of Chanyeol sliding past his lips wet and lewd, and his eyes water as Chanyeol’s body jerks and his hands twist in Baekhyun's hair.  Clearly, Chanyeol is trying not to thrust down Baekhyun’s throat, and Baekhyun appreciates the effort as he pulls back and pushes down again, taking in even more, but not all, of Chanyeol’s cock.  Then he hums, and Chanyeol’s hips jerk despite himself, pressing deeper before drawing back, shallowly fucking Baekhyun’s mouth as Baekhyun tries not to gag, allowing Chanyeol to use his grip on his hair to hold him in place while Baekhyun moans around him.

Chanyeol does stop once, very early on, eyes wide with concern that is overriding arousal as Baekhyun moans loudly around his cock.  Baekhyun meets his gaze and nods.  He is fine, and he swallows to prove it, making Chanyeol start to move again as he lets his tongue press against the vein running down the underside of Chanyeol’s cock while spit runs down his chin and a few tears prick his eyes.

He can breathe, but barely, and once, he really can’t when Chanyeol’s cock goes almost all the way in to his mouth, slipping deeper as Baekhyun relaxes his throat to allow it in.  Chanyeol’s hands tug on his hair almost painfully then, and Baekhyun smiles around his cock as he swallows, feeling a tell-tale pulse push past his lips as he pulls back, catching Chanyeol’s release in his mouth.  He takes a second to savor it before swallowing once Chanyeol slips out from between his lips.

It’s quiet then, save for Chanyeol still panting beneath him, chest heaving with his hands curled in Baekhyun’s hair, and Baekhyun takes the opportunity to reach up and try to wipe some of the spit that has dribbled over his chin and down his neck off.  To his surprise, one of Chanyeol’s hands stops him before he uses it to drag Baekhyun back up his chest.

He starts at the base of Baekhyun’s throat, kissing upwards to collect the sticky trail and Baekhyun shudders as Chanyeol sucks against his Adam’s Apple for a second longer than necessary before continuing on, over his chin and to his lips, licking into Baekhyun’s mouth in seconds.  He traces Baekhyun’s mouth, outlining it with his tongue, and Baekhyun is both glad that Chanyeol will apparently not be type to refuse to kiss after blow jobs, and also touched that Chanyeol seems to have decided that he must make sure every inch of Baekhyun’s mouth is intact.

It is, although it might be a bit sore tomorrow.  However, Baekhyun is already certain he will have no regrets if it is, even before Chanyeol pulls back to stare up at him in wonder.

“Baekhyun you—“

Baekhyun leans down, kissing Chanyeol’s damp lips briefly before raising a hand to either side of Chanyeol’s face.

“You are not allowed to die.”  He states, chest tight, but voice firm.

Beneath him, Chanyeol blinks before reaching up a hand to stroke Baekhyun’s face.  “I wasn’t planning on it.”  He whispers as Baekhyun leans into Chanyeol’s light, phantom touch.

“Don’t.”  He responds, tone suddenly fierce as a wave of possessiveness sweeps through him.  Chanyeol is his, and Baekhyun isn’t going to lose him to something as stupid as death.  He isn’t.

Chanyeol blinks up at Baekhyun for a couple seconds in the wake of his words, and then his hand moves to pull Baekhyun down into another kiss.  When he pulls back, he is whispering against Baekhyun’s lips

“I love you.”

Baekhyun stiffens in Chanyeol’s grasp.  Chanyeol hasn’t said that before, not yet.  “What?”

Beneath him, Chanyeol lets out a tiny puff of air as he moves his hand up to twist in Baekhyun’s hair.  “That’s the reason why you’re my contact.”  He murmurs as he tugs Baekhyun down, kissing around his face in a haphazard pattern, “Not because you’re close.”

He stops with a kiss placed squarely to the tip of Baekhyun’s nose, looking up at him with a smile that is open and raw and overwhelmingly affectionate.  Baekhyun shudders and lowers himself down to rest against Chanyeol’s chest.

“Chanyeol...”  He murmurs, hands squeezing around his shoulders.

He doesn’t know what to say because he can’t say it back.  Too many things have already happened that day, and even though Baekhyun is certain he loves Chanyeol, saying it aloud is suddenly terrifying.

After a couple seconds, Chanyeol releases his grip on Baekhyun’s hair in favor of running a hand down his back.  “It’s okay.  I know.”  He whispers, and Baekhyun nods against Chanyeol’s chest as Chanyeol begins to hum a lullaby that has words Baekhyun can’t remember.

He falls asleep trying to remember them, wondering what they would sound like sung in Chanyeol’s voice. 

 


End file.
